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28 August 2020 @ 10:01 pm
I want to tell you about a great book written by my young friend in Miss Leigh Kenyon. Talented beyond her years, Leigh has a wonderful imagination on fire with ideas and enthusiasm, which have produced her first published book; The Zebra Riders! I am infinitely proud of her and want to encourage you to order it for your kids, local schools and your own enjoyment! Please support a bright young lady on her journey to the future! I've ordered my copy ^_~

Thanks guys!

Order Your Copy Today From Amazon.com!
Mood: gratefulproud
Song: Turn loose the mermaids - Nightwish
25 May 2017 @ 04:34 pm
My family sickens me sometimes.

I am thirty years old. It is no secret that I have depression. It is no secret that I lived with my parents until I was twenty-eight. It is no secret that I am horrible at communication, at least on a regular basis.

I am human. I make mistakes.

But being with the man I love is not a mistake. Choosing him and my happiness is far from a mistake.

My lover is a victim of divorce. His ex left him while he was working one of his two jobs. She fled with the three kids, pre-meditated, to be with an ex-boyfriend from high school. Fine, power to her. But she has alienated his children from him. Now when they call, they only call to harass him and regurgitate what their mother or her parents tell them to say, which is nothing but hate and greed. There are literally dozens of personal accounts on their father's end that vouch to say their relationship with their father was the complete opposite of the hogwash they are fed now. I am one of them. But he has moved on and accepted that his children were stolen from him while he was working hard to provide for their every need and want. He understands that he will likely never see his children again.

This kills him inside and he hurts deeply. I do what I can for him and we are enough for each other. Our recently adopted puppy has helped to fill the void in our hearts where sadness lingered.

Some years ago, he was in a car wreck that severely damaged his spine in numerous places. Over time, that has gotten worse, even with therapy and care. Now he experiences numbness, migraines, and excruciating pain 24 hours a day, and it has been this way for at least two years. He has sought a surgeon's help, but there is nothing to be done. He is now in the care of a neurologist, but the road is long and no answers have been provided yet. The man hurts and has no reason to hurt others.

He loves unconditionally, gives of himself and sacrifices every day for us. I love him with everything I have in me.

My family says "he can't be trusted". My family will not welcome him with open arms. My family will not talk to him.

My family now tells me that my oldest niece is experiencing depression because of me and my "devotion" to my boyfriend, instead of to my family. They continuously fail to tell her of his situation physically. They always fail to tell her that his ex ran off to be with her ex, taking his kids with her and filling their heads with lies. They fail to tell her that she is welcome to be with us, so long as everyone is ok with my love being involved.

Instead, they tell her that my lover quit his job because he was tired of working, not because his pain forced him to retire. They tell her he divorced his ex because he was cheating on her with me, not because she ran off with his children and tore his world apart. They tell her that her aunt chooses to be with her lover instead of going to Disney World with them this fall, instead of telling her that her aunt is very busy working to support her lover, puppy and wants to prevent further damage to her lover as much as possible.

Meanwhile, his family has welcomed me with open arms unconditionally. They may not agree completely with the living situation, but they know that I am sincere in that I love their son with all my heart. They see the devotion whenever we are together. They know I am committed because of everything we have been through together. They invite us to come over for supper regularly. They call us up just to say hi and check in. They love and help wherever they can, unsolicited.

Why is my family so hateful and stuck in the past? Why do they not see the love in front of them and just accept it?

My mother says to me every time we have this conversation, "I worry for you because you no longer go to church". Mom, has it occurred to you that maybe I don't believe in religion any more? I see the devastation in the world. I hear the tragedies of families being torn apart every day on social media. The world is cruel and religion is not helping. It's making it worse.

So I am left with a choice; move on with the life I have chosen, or end it now before more people get hurt. I have thought long and hard on how to end my life when I get backed into a corner like this. I want to stay alive for the sake of my love and our furry baby, but when I feel crushed by my own family who is supposed to love me unconditionally, I don't feel that I have any options left.

So this is goodbye, I suppose.
30 July 2013 @ 04:29 pm
Martina! I am making this post for you, because you're awesome for listening to me ramble senselessly about my boys in blue. SO, follow the cut to AMAZINGNESS!

B-U! T-L-E! R-U A BULLDOG? HECK YEAH!!!!Collapse )
06 July 2013 @ 10:35 pm






Or just let me beam with absolute pride for my favorite person in the entire world. Could not have made a better choice!


Yes, that's him in my icon.

Admire him.

Mood: touchedtouched
Song: Brand new day - Fireflight
27 May 2013 @ 12:25 pm
Executive Mansion,
Washington, Nov. 21, 1864.

Dear Madam,—

I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle.

I feel how weak and fruitless must be any word of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save.

I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.

Yours, very sincerely and respectfully,

A. Lincoln

America, don't ever forget all of the sacrifices that were made to give you the freedoms we enjoy. Honor them every day.

And amelia_seyroon - you especially. Thank you for your service, ma'am.
Mood: indescribableindescribable
Song: Battle hymn of the Republic - David Phelps
20 May 2013 @ 12:37 pm
My reaction last night when I finished writing my Narrative Essay, the second of five big ones I'm supposed to write for English Composition. It's meant to be a narration of a great epiphany in my life.

My reaction this morning in class when I realized I accidentally didn't state my exact epiphany at any given point. Glad that was just the rough draft!

I'll be getting my grade on my first project, the Descriptive Essay, this Wednesday and I feel pretty confident about it ^_^ Oh, might wanna read it? Er, ok! Time for a mini sob fest!

Title: Where My Heart Is
Word Count: 856
Summary/Notes: For Week 1 of ENC1101, my Descriptive Essay brings to light a particular moment in my life that changed me. Warning, I waste no time in trying to make you cry. Well, in my own way, at least XD Originally written in MLA format.

I remember standing there...Collapse )
Mood: embarrassedembarrassed
Song: Great expectations - Steven Curtis Chapman
13 May 2013 @ 04:44 pm
Humanities Homework

Read Chapter 2 Adventures in the Human Spirit

Write 500 word summary on Chapter 2

Write 500 word summary on first 30 minutes of "Men in Black"

Read 3 chapters of The Mission of Art

Book review of The Mission of Art due on 6-20-13

Read Seward - Lincoln's Indispensable Man (547 pages!!)

Book review of Seward due 6-20-13

Write two short stories - due 6-20-13

Write two separate essays on WHY I wrote the short stories - due 6-20-13

English Comp Homework

Write Research Paper Proposal - 250 words

Write short sensory essay of the room you're in and do two peer reviews

Write 700-900 word descriptive essay

Read Chapter 3 in Longman Reader

Research Paper (1500-2000 words) due 6-13-13

Now I understand on a very small scale what you college students go through. It's a lot of work, and I love it, but I must confess that last night I discovered the #sewardismyfolly tag on Tumblr, and it has since been the death of me. School work is calling, and yet...

Mood: busybusy
Song: Take me in - Kutless
08 May 2013 @ 11:00 pm
With my first day of college under my belt (WOOHOO), my third day as a single girl again ('twas mutual - no tears were shed), and another day added to my never ending quest to build upon my Civil War era knowledge, I have come to an amazing realization. Well, more of an idea, really.

How awesome would it be if someone wrote out Boothe's original scenario of kidnapping Lincoln with intentions for ransoming the President, rather than assassinating him? Imagine the dramatic possibilities!! I would love to try, but I don't consider myself even close to being worthy of attempting to portray Abraham's literary likeness. But perhaps through the tools school will be lending me, I can strengthen my skills, grow confident again and try to illustrate this unfathomable concept billowing in my head.

One can hope, right? XDDD

And this picture of Lincoln scares the daylights out of me...Collapse )
Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Song: Bridge of Light - Pink
06 May 2013 @ 10:55 pm
I feel so compelled to write down these thoughts on more than just paper. I can't express in complete words everything that I'm feeling lately. I feel so full and engrossed in what I'm learning, but at the same time, I sense a great burden weighing heavily on my heart. I hope it's just the urging that I need to share all that I am experiencing in this never-ending quest for knowledge on those involved in my nation's dark trials of the Civil War. Please forgive me for regularly doing this to you, dear friends - I know I'm boring. ^_^

Looking into Abraham Lincoln's life...Collapse )
Mood: melancholymelancholy
Song: Be thou my vision - Ginny Owens
22 April 2013 @ 10:20 pm
Every time I fall back into Civil War mode, I always seem to think that I won't be emotionally affected, because nothing, I feel, should ever surpass those three weeks that I endured the awful nightmare of witnessing the tragic fighting of the Devil's Den. I continue to prove myself wrong on a regular basis.

In February, I watched that grisly, but amazing documentary on the assassination of President Lincoln, simply titled Killing Lincoln, after the book of the same name. It was directed by Ridley Scott and narrated by Tom Hanks, so it already held my attention for these reasons, but it was stirring and thought provoking. I had never realized Lincoln's Secretary of State, William Seward, was targeted that same night by the (maniac) Lewis Powell, one of Boothe's conspirators.

In earnest, I went to my library and picked up the biography on Seward. The first three pages were a brief explanation on that dreadful night of the Lincoln assassination, and the attempt on Seward's life. I'll admit that I was fascinated, but now today as I'm nearing the end of the third chapter, eighty pages in and discussing his early life in politics, I find myself unbearably sad and undeserving of considering myself patriotic. I know so little of my country's heritage, its sacrifice and legacy. I'm so ashamed.

When Lincoln's funeral train approached Springfield, his face had been so blackened by decomposition already, that he was barely recognizable. But still the people gathered to mourn as a nation for a president who wasn't as loved before his death as he is now. Had I been among those people, feeling as I do now, I likely would have been sent away I would have cried so loud.

As I take brief looks into Secretary Seward's life through his biography, I see why Lincoln chose him to be the power behind his administration. Seward pushed, pleaded and prayed diligently for reform in his country. He sought abolition as fervently as Lincoln did, perhaps even more-so. On a more personal note, though, I already see that in the wake of the attempt on her husband's life, Frances died of a heart attack, too overrun with anxiety to remain at his side. From what I've read, he deeply loved his wife, and even unconditionally forgave her of being the victim of a one-sided affair involving one of his closest friends. When she came to her husband with the letters written to her by Tracy, Seward took them, cast them into the fire without glancing at them and took her in his arms, saying that he loved and trusted her.

I don't know why I am always so compelled to look into the lives of these people so deeply involved during our country's darkest hour. Is it because I live in a time that is also dark and needing reform? Or am I simply searching to find a part of myself I can never fully grasp until I, too, move on from this life?

I don't suspect I'll ever know the answer, just that I'll never stop feeling this burden I do to learn more about the tragedies of my nation.
Mood: depresseddepressed
Song: My hands - Leona Lewis
17 April 2013 @ 05:29 pm
Here is a post comprising of only questions that I feel compelled to answer in my own fantastic way.

Cloud x Aerith or Cloud x Tifa?

Squall x Rinoa or Squall x Quistis?

Yusuke x Keiko or Yusuke x Yukina?

Sora x Kairi or Axel x Kairi?

North or South?

Bacon or Cheese?

Down or Down Alternative?

Flip flops or Tennis Shoes?

Auron x Lulu or Auron x Rikku?

Lemon or Lime?

Papa John's or Pizza Hut?

Jack x Sam or Daniel x Sam?

Rick x Ilsa or Victor x Ilsa?

Obi Wan x Siri or Obi Wan x Satine?

Fang x Vanille or Sazh x Vanille?

The answer to all these questions?

Mood: deviousdevious
Song: Hurricane - 30 seconds to Mars
10 April 2013 @ 07:30 pm
Somewhere in this great and beautiful world, there exists Sazh x Vanille fandom in great abundance.

And if it doesn't?

The flame starts here.
Current Location: Oerba
Mood: determineddetermined
Song: Oerba theme - FFXIII OST
26 March 2013 @ 12:38 am
Though the season is over, the memories are going to last forever. I feel so blessed that I had the opportunity of going back to Indiana to watch this team play in person. What a wonderful bunch of guys that came together and fought hard till the end! SO PROUD!

And I made this for them. Because I could.

Mood: optimisticoptimistic
Song: Jesus paid it all - Kristian Stanfill
21 March 2013 @ 11:11 pm
You guys know I can't shut up during this time of year XDDD


This is OUR TIME, Butler. Game on!

Random nostalgia, hilarity and more fangirling for my boys in blueCollapse )
Mood: indescribableindescribable
Song: Come wake me up - Rascall Flatts
21 March 2013 @ 01:11 am
Is it just me, or do Rotnei and Andrew resemble Gomer Pile and Goober from the Andy Griffith Show?

Mood: awakeawake
Song: Can't hold us - Macklemore
20 March 2013 @ 12:14 am
So last night during the wee hours of the morning, I went on a crazy writing spree. I cranked out about ten pieces featuring two new characters I've made. One, Daymon (Day) Covington has actually been in my head for about a year, so I'm certainly glad to finally present her on stage for later audiences. I'm not posting all of the pieces, because they're honestly not up to par, but I will put up my favorites in their appropriate sequences.

To give some background, I wanted mainly to just let my imagination run free since I haven't written in over three months. So I sought out what my heart is loving the most at the moment, primarily basketball, and I ran with it. Day Covington is our primary lady, a college student attending a basketball heavy university in Indianapolis. She's a bit cynical at times, but has a feminine side worth showcasing. Her counterpart is best friend, Rylan Lindsey, a star player for the school they're both attending. He tells corny jokes, acts as dense as concrete, and is an over-achiever. All in all, the setting is meant to be my attempt at a romantic comedy, which we all know has never been my forte. Alas, I will try to see what I can conjure in the days to come. In the meantime, err, enjoy what I have to offer?

Title: Lunch Time
Character(s): Rylan & Day
Genre(s): Friendship
Rating: G
Word Count: 320
Summary: The weather is frigid, the classes are boring, but their stomachs are calling the shots.
Notes: The first attempt inspired by a random prompt stating I needed to involve a rumbling tummy. lol

'Let's hit the cafe' before we hit our next set of books.'Collapse )

Title: Ironic
Character(s): Day & Rylan
Pairing(s): One-sided Day x Rylan
Genre(s): Humor & Romance
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 520
Summary: She tries to be good, but she's bad at it
Notes: The prompt said to infuse a call/text coming at a bad time.... XDDD

'Sorry I missed your call...'Collapse )

Title: Practice Session
Character(s): Rylan
Pairing(s): Rylan x Day
Genre(s): Romance & Humor
Rating: PG
Word Count: 683
Summary: He's had all summer to think about her, now he can't get her off his mind
Notes: Prompt encouraged me to implement the use of a camera somewhere... lol

Shot 495 missed.Collapse )

Title: Unwilling
Character(s): Day & Rylan
Pairing(s): Rylan x Day
Genre(s): Romance, Drama & slight Humor
Rating: PG
Word Count: 245
Summary: After his close call on the court, Day can't believe he's willing to put himself at risk again so soon.
Notes: Meant to take place merely days after an injury nearly ends Rylan's basketball career, not to mention his life. My prompt said to use an argument as a catalyst before preparing a meal.

'Never mind what I say.'Collapse )

Title: Praise and Worship
Character(s): Day & Rylan
Pairing(s): Rylan x Day
Genre(s): Romance & Spiritual
Rating: G
Word Count: 325
Summary: Now that they're dating, she agrees to go with him to his church. She wasn't expecting a surprise, however...
Notes: Inspired by the prompt of music, and my iPod randomly selecting a Casting Crowns song ^_^

'Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart...'Collapse )

Title: Looking
Character(s): Rylan & Day
Pairing(s): Rylan x Day
Genre(s): Humor & Romance
Rating: Heavy PG
Word Count: 470
Summary: They are a patient couple, but that doesn't mean they're not tempted from time-to-time.
Notes: Prompt encouraged me to explore a new level of flirtation. And I had to involve a curtain. lol

But they found ways to be mischievous all the time.Collapse )
Mood: sillysilly
Song: Do you hear the people sing - Les Mis
19 March 2013 @ 11:16 pm
Youtube is gracious, kind and faithful, for it hath brought me the first and only interview with Brandon I've ever found online. OMG, this man's voice will always be my favorite, as will his smile, attitude and heart. Brandon, I love youuuuuuuuu!

Camera man, you need to do a better job focusing on his eyes rather than his jawline.... DON'T CARE, THOUGH. I hear Brandon's voice the whole time! XDDDD

Kids, I want to say this, because I can.

This man will one day be one of the greatest coaches ever because he watches and follows his superiors with such precision. And when he gets his own team, no matter who they are (yes, even Florida), I will support him. I owe him this much because he inspired me to move forward when the Devil tried to hold me down.

Mood: omg he's amazing
Song: ABC cafe' - Les Mis
18 March 2013 @ 02:30 pm


See you Thursday!!
Mood: excitedexcited
Song: Hall of fame - The Script
09 March 2013 @ 01:32 am

Greg got a picture of us together.......................Collapse )

Dis boy still hot as hot can be, though ^_~